You Asked for It. You Got It.

Mourning a Legend - a small memorial service was held in NJ yesterday to mark the death of Hollywood's favorite best friend & smart-mouthed sidekick, Eve Arden. Ms. Arden, she of the arched eyebrow and cutting quip, was tragically (and unfairly) defeated by Lucille Ball in the Dames & Divas Deathmatch. The memorial was attended by Arden's former TV co-stars Kay Ballard, Gale Grodon, Richard Crenna, Richard Deacon, Deborah Walley and Jerry Fogel. Rumor circulated during the service that fellow defeated dame Gloria Grahame and Ms. Arden are plotting an otherworldly return to the Deathmatch. Toward the end of the memorial, a veiled and weeping Ava Gardner, who co-starred with Ms. Arden in One Touch of Venus, stood to speak. After some fond remembrances, she tore off her veil, held her chin high, looked to the heavens, icily swore revenge on Ms. Ball, turned and walked slowly out to a waiting limo.

Actually, the picture is from 10 years ago. My buddy John was turning 30. All through his 20's he swore he would never live to see 30 due to his drinking, smoking and wild ways. So we staged a funeral for his surprise 30th birthday party. John is the original liberal Democrat, loves travel and is a big Kennedy fan. So we had a casket covered with travel stickers (London, Paris, Madrid, Peoria, etc.), an Eternal Flame made from a wired Scotch bottle and made all the guests wear black. I came as Jackie Kennedy and, as you can see below, John-John and Rose Kennedy were also in attendance.